Thursday, July 8, 2010
I'll keep your secret. I wont tell them and I promise not to judge or hold a grudge when you get mad at me. Life is too short anyway, I promise to keep and to have and not to share or exploit to others because that's not my job to do. Instead, I'll love you like a best friend, I'll keep you like an old doll that I have still in my corner. Confide everything in me, let me share your burden, take the pain away and while your living, I'll die. I'll do it just for you, I'll even give you my arm and my leg and promise you again that I'm strong and that I feel no pain because our bond as friends is worth more than life, more than dreams because love conquers all and no, not in a sick way. I don't have a thing for you, but I want you to know that I will always be there and if you want, you can lay your head on my shoulder, call me if you can't call the others and I'll listen. Even if your on the other line just breathing. I'll cry for you when you can't shed a tear because I hurt just the same and when you leave and go away, I'll stay, because when you come back, your going to need a friend and no matter how far San Francisco is, we're like boomarangs.
Nothing makes sense anymore! It never did! How the world works sucks because no matter what good you do, the hurt will always be around the corner and when your humble you get back handed! What is it with this quiet town! Never making noise because they'd rather stay silent than vote to be heard and supposedly there's some kind of theory that the government is rigging the polls and politicians have always been corrupt and it doesn't make sense, but I guess it's not supposed to. I guess wherever we are, it's where we're meant to be because if not, then we'd move to another place but our feet are planted in the ground and we love to hate and hate that we love because when we get hurt, it sucks. It hurts. The pain enters the body striking the heart killing us instantly, bending our knees to pray and this is what we all want, we have to, because if we didn't we wouldn't fight what we love and who cares that we don't have the perfect hair or body because we're loved by our loved ones and we'll always be hated by the haters because that's there job, to hate us. But... The only thing that makes sense is music, it's what drowns our minds from frustration and cure us to freedom.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Friends are like family and my girls mean the world to me! All of us have some really good times, then bad, but I love them to death! My bestfriends are my sisters and I'm going to miss them when we have to split and go off to college! We've had some good times, I remember one time one of my bestfriends was mad one day and I tried to cheer her up and walked straight into DOG DOOODOO! Oh my goodness, I couldn't wear those shoes again! I'll miss times like that or my bestfriends enchiladas! I'll miss her promiscuous ways! haha and her crazy stories or ... wait. I can't blog it, but you guys know what I mean! I love my best friends and I hope we can grow old together and talk about times like these!
How can life choose to be so cruel, the signs, messages, the dirty looks and storms, the skies display to show off it's mood. Well, I'm angry too! Mad that I can't have what I want and if I get close to get it, somehow it drifts away and I blame the wind, for making my dreams far out of reach! I blame mother nature for the young mothers who are starting to have babies, younger than sixteen! Where is the message in that? Huh? Where is it at? Instead of an answer, lightning strikes from the heavens and lights go out and the bills arrive again. What am I going to do? Where is the sign in mother natures womb that say's life is hard! We come into the world, bare and eyes immature to everything around us, because we see life as beautiful; but then it turns its back on us! Show's us that everything good is just a picture and to actually relax and enjoy possibilities, we have to go through obstacles - boot camp! We have to get passed our teachers and follow their lead in order to be a leader, because when we're out on our own, life will change. The sun will come out and the birds will sing, but it's up to us, for this image to stay this way; because without the guidance to light, our world can be mighty dark.
I'm ready to live my life and cut loose! I've been on this leash too long and I'm ready to run free! I'm so excited because I'm going to college, growing up and getting away. I can already picture the wind blowing in my face and it's just me and the open road.
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She's bad and everybody likes this girl I never knew and I want to meet her. Pick her brain to see what she's thinking to see if she's really what they all say, if she really can walk the walk and talk the talk and to see how down she really is. Because see, I was never like her but always wanted to be and I'm fighting two sides of myself of who I am and who I want to be, but I wont let myself believe so I try to drink out the bottle and smoke like a man but only choke on the white clouds that are my only way out from being a rebel to a poet.
Not that great I know, but it's what I'm feeling!
I'm racing through time, tryna escape from my mind and out into the open where I can be free where I can live and not worry about what's coming from behind me... It's a struggle, everyday hot tears fall from my cheeks and I can't help the pain I feel every time I think about the hell I went through and back to be standing here! I am legend, in fact I created the word because whatever I do I try to rule and conquer, like the queen on the chest board - what I say goes! I spit rhymes like poetic justice, to let myself go and be out of mind because I'm scared to hold anything back because I fear that I'm out of time...
To be continued! Something I just thought of... not even sure if it makes sense!